Authentic and Relatable BTS: Last Week Was a Heavy One

Pulling back the curtain on what I've really been thinking and feeling.

In a little over one week, I’ll be turning 40, and I’ve been grappling with this milestone. You see, I’ve never been a fan of my birthday. For some reason, instead of celebrating the life I’ve been #blessed with (IYKYK) and all the accomplishments I’ve achieved, I find myself fixated on how quickly time is slipping away and the things I haven’t yet accomplished. However, last week, something happened that truly put things into perspective.

Early on Thursday morning, my husband received one of those texts you never want to receive. The type that makes you sick to your stomach. His 30-year-old nephew (Kevin) had just undergone emergency brain surgery due to a brain bleed, and is now in a coma (and continues to be in one) as he fights for his life.

Kevin is one of the kindest individuals I’ve ever met—the kind we need more of in this world. His life is just beginning as he’s only 30! And last year, I was lucky enough to witness his beautiful wedding to his husband, Daryl. When I think back to that day, all I can remember is the radiant smile on his face.

A photo of Kevin and my stepdaughter Mia at his wedding last year.

Now, you may be wondering what the point of this post is, as clearly this is not the content I usually share. So, here it is…

I encounter many people who are dissatisfied with their careers, relationships, or who simply long for that dream vacation they haven’t taken. And then I often ponder whether it’s fear of discomfort, the unknown, or the anticipation of the “right” moment that holds us back. This past week serves as yet another reminder of the uncertainty that lies ahead. Personally, I don’t want to reflect on my life and regret not pursuing something I wanted, simply because I was waiting for the “right” time. One of the reasons I transitioned from the finance and accounting world to the interior design industry is that I didn’t want to look back and wonder, “What if?!”

I also keep thinking about how many of us are moving through hard things in quiet—and how loneliness grows in the gaps between what’s real and what we post. We do a great job of sharing the highlight reels, but the messy, raw stuff? Not so much. Head to Instagram and you’ll see influencer after influencer looking incredibly happy in their meticulously styled homes, seemingly living the perfect life. Now, deep down, I know that’s not the case, but sometimes I wish I could yell into my phone and ask them why they can’t share the real behind-the-scenes moments.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my nearly four decades of life, it’s that life won’t go as planned. It’ll be a rollercoaster ride, with its fair share of highs and lows. Sometimes, it’ll be filled with joy, while at other times, it will feel broken. But amidst the ups and downs, remember that you’re not alone, whether you realize it or not.

So, if you’re still with me and reading this, please don’t wait. Go on the damn trip, pivot into that new career, and tell those around you that you love them.

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I appreciate each one of you. I truly mean it. Thank you for being here. I’ll be back soon with my regular interior design content.